Monday
November 29 '04
just to make quick entry. life is passing me at full speed. most of the time i don't even know what hit me. but past few days has been spent with some of the great friends that i treasure most. perhaps it's true that time passes faster when you are enjoying yourself (now don't give me that theory of relativity crap!)
got wasted last night at Trav's place. XR brought along with him a supersized bottle of absolute vodka - which we didnt drink(thank God!). that darn alcoholic found this bottle of XO and was staring at it like a ravenous wolve sizing up it's prey. once permission to open the cork was gave, all hell broke loose. to cut a long story short. i took 2 sips and promptly got wasted before 2am. before that i was so seh-ed i kept playing cards to XR, Bird and Travs. if we played money, i would have been bankrupt twice over. plus i didnt even win once. overall, i was really bad at mahjong and fifa2004 yesterday. but the company more than made up for the lousy hangover.
went out with XR and his parents to have his prom outfit tailor-made. again to cut a long story short, it was way to exhorbitant so XR wisely chose to look around for alternatives. after which i went to XR's place and watched star wars ep4 - a new hope. am hoping to watch the whole series soon! it's really nice! played gunbound till 7 plus. decided to go home cos The Cousin had to take care of bf's niece and had to cancel dinner.
xh called when i was on the way home to remind me i was supposed to be at church camp leader's training an hour ago! i felt really really bad. but i've seen alot of these meetings and how 'effective' they would be. still unity is very important in a church. must not let the planks in my eyes block my vision and affect judgement. God please help!
i've lapsed into a fit by recounting past events in my day! so much for intellectual and entertaining posts only.
Saturday
November 27 '04
this is such a real song. very typical of mayday. such typicality is good - they've been very true to their music. and that's what basically draws me to them. actually this is a song written in the taiwanese native tongue(min nan yu) so you can't read some of those words like reading chinese.
the bold line roughly translates to: there's so much ignorance and things we dont know in this life. what is love? forever is such an empty and hollow concept. so who can really promise the future?
which brings me back to some conversations i had recently. about the futuristic prospect of a couple living together forever.
perhaps that's just the way the world works now. promises that men cannot deliver are made without a second thought. so many happy couples told me that they will be together forever. coming from someone who has went through that same phase. perhaps i shall say cynically that it's all bullshit.
who can promise eternal love? no one man can. only God can. unless one has the capability to have been in existence since time began.
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
- Revelation 22:13
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
- 1 John 4
what then is the love of God? how can we show the love of God to people around us? to what extent should this love be shown? i'm sure most know how hard it is to love an enemy. but if we only love those who reciprocrates or who are nice to us, then what love is that? isn't that just a barter trade where love is merely a commodity?
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
- John 15:12-13
love each other. does that mean, love your girlfriend/boyfriend as I have loved you, love your parents as I have loved you. no! it means everyone! all the people you came into contact with.
it's hard to do so. the lure of lust and the charm of beauty is indeed deceptive. but a woman who fears the Lord is worthy of praise.
painful. perhaps celibacy is a good idea.
Saturday
November 20 '04
in her first sign of immaturity(with regards to the previous post), The Sister has demanded full ownership of the creative muvo tx fm.
i'm in a fix.
on one hand it's technically mine(having did all the dirty job of calling singnet. signing up for the new plan. calling singnet to find that the plan didnt go through. waiting for 3124234 days for the letter which is supposed to arrive in 10 working days. plus going down to the shop to collect the player) now u know why i referred to those nice singnet ppl.
on the other hand(oh that is so economist), The Sister bought me mayday's timemachine. that i am eternally grateful for. plus this movie that i doubt SG even has it. doubly grateful.
i think i will work my ass off during the holidays to earn enough for another mp3 player.
yingwen study hard k! i know u can do it for geog de! it's no kick man! jiayou jiayou!
22:09 - the return of The Sister
yeah it's been a fortnight since i last saw The Sister. it's weird of me to say this but the house has been rather quiet without her bubbly figure around. in any case, it has been great to have her back. that is given the sheer amount of presents she has bothered to buy back. i got a mayday cd and dvd from her. plus this quaint chinese name stamp which bears my name and a tiger(my chinese zodiac sign).
i really must give it to her for being so thoughtful to get stuffs for relatives. come to think of it, i don't think i even got anything for The Dad and The Mum when i went to thailand last year. what an unfilial son.
playing with this remote control car The Sister got. seriously. why doesnt she go for clothes and perfumes like the other normal girls? haha. okay bad stereotype. i'm actually rather glad she exhibited such an abnormal behaviour. she exudes this sense of maturity now that she has seen the world. indeed travelling does such wonders - of widening one's perspectives and world view. perhaps she has seen how fortunate she was to be given such an opportunity to see something outside of this little red dot. or perhaps it was seeing stuffs outside this little red dot that made her realise how fortunate she is. whatever it is. im glad The Sister has grown up. (:
on another note. i got a free creative muvo tx fm 256mb thanks to the nice ppl at singnet. for the first time im actually having trouble filling up my player with songs.
Wednesday
November 17 '04
and i thought. that i've been thinking alot today. perhaps im addicted to thinking! scary thought.
21:58 - mathematics
i thought how scary it was, what JY told me.
he finished his maths p2 in 1 hour and 17 minutes.
i thought about how my friends took 2 hours plus? and i thought abt WM who had to struggle through the paper.
kudos to HC for being able to produce such efficient students, that no one can take away.
then i thought about how this topic of fairplay came up with when talking to RL yesterday.
i thought how tough it would be for students outside the top5 innercircle to compete with those within the circle.
JY asked me why i didn't go HC. i thought. i could have done better in academic terms. i might still end up with a gold and a silver in interschool bball.
then i thought. i fought with my sweat and blood for that gold - no way would i have exchanged it for anything else that is of material significance in this world. so why complain?
then i thought about my studies. i see my struggles with history. surely i could have done better with those humanities scholars as my classmates? (heck i could even be one of them!) so why not?
i would say why yes! i'd give a million reasons why i chose SA. but the million reason will have to come down to a single decision i made - to put Saint Andrew's Junior College as my first choice. and from that single choice i can conclude one thing:
that im definitely not here by chance. and God has a reason for me to be here.
21:42 - light of the world
i just accidentally applied medicated oil on my eyes! (for the unknowing - axe brand medicated is intended to refresh a person with some ailment. for this oil. it works by leaving a 'hot' and 'burning' feeling on a applied area.) and no! i am not suffering from a nerval/muscle problem which confuses my arms into thrusting those oil soaked fingers into my eyes! it was an accident! my how stupid am i? okay the 'hot' feeling has subsided already. still i thought for a moment i might be rendered temporarily blind (oh how i wished that's true. just for the sake of a legitimate reason to escape from the cold war conflict i.e history paper 3)
speaking of which, there was this incident involving a blind lady and a bus ride today. this blind lady was rushing towards 960 which i was getting on. along the way she kept saying, "hello?". to the silence that followed she offered a desperate plea, "hello?!?!"
there must have been like 4 or 5 person around her that could have answered her. but no they chose to board the bus... ahead of me. Mr T and XY was already on the bus first, so i slowed down and answered her, "yes?". surely a polite greeting from her deserved a response from somebody!?
she asked what bus was it and i answered 960. and she happily got on the bus.
thinking back i could have done more. like perhaps helping her to an empty seat. but somehow a kind soul has gave up his/her seat for this blind lady. that's cool.
i thought alot about this incident. the blind. i thought about Jesus healing the blind. i thought about how people can seem to block out others when they have an objective in mind. the human will is a scary thing. when put to use on evil things, lots of ppl end up getting hurt. in this case, no one got hurt. but im sure the lost would not mind a little guiding light. and isn't that what children of God are? lights of the world? not our light but the light of Jesus?
why are we bogged down by the troubles of life. in the process of drowning in the quicksand we struggle more and end up deeper in the sand of time. lift up our hands to God and He will save you. and He sure won't mind you pulling another soul along.
Saturday
November 13 '04
was surfing through the nba.com website and found this blog. yeah nba has gotten on the blogging bandwagon. jay williams(the author of the blog) is this nba player who is currently on rehab(no not drugs!) due to a motorcycle accident. the incident left him with career-threatening injuries to his leg and pelvis.
throughout the blog i could see his determination to come back on to the court and play. his frustrations of watching his peers on court and hogging the limelights was what made the blog a very real experience.
My emotions were flaring as I left the arena last night. I was experiencing so many different thoughts and feelings. Basketball is something I've always want to do since I was a little boy. I remember I got into trouble when I spray painted the word -- Bulls -- on a fence and I told my mom that I wanted to play for them one day. To work so hard every day of my life to get to this level and to actually get drafted by the Bulls was a dream come true. As I saw LeBron play last night, I flashed back to last season when I scored 24 on the Cavaliers and LeBron was in the stands watching. I was playing against Milt Palacio at the time but I was pretending that I was playing against LeBron because I was looking forward to the competition.
that feeling was one that i could relate to. growing up as a little boy i always wanted to play alongside KG for the timberwolves. even though the chicago bulls and michael jordan was a big influence on me, i really wanted to play for the wolves. dreams are a really wonderful thing. i lost myself in the pursuit to get an nba contract. so i trained really hard - even at primary school level.
of course reality is harsh. it wasn't that making it to the nba was never going to be(that's a given - dad's constant nagging that no asian had made it to the nba made me realise that) the real blow came when i found out that i didn't get selected for this bball award. 2 of my team-mates did. betrayal is hard for me to accept, especially when they turned around and laughed at my omission for that award. i felt that the world was against me and that it was really unfair. somehow i couldnt rationalise me scoring 60% of the team's points and yet i didn't get recognised for that.
perhaps i got a little disheartened at that. so moving on to secondary school i joined squash(counts as one of the biggest mistake in my life) then of course the story continued with me joining the bball team and winning the west zone title. then i had to resign to a secondary role even when i played a starting position. but i was cool with that - i enjoyed the game and made some really great friends on the team. 3 special ppl in my life are those made from the team and we're still sticking through some shit(namely the A's)
right perhaps i'll continue this story some time later. today's nba games are really exciting. philly down against pacers by almost 20 points in the third quarter and then storming back to win in OT with a huge game winner from iverson.
and manu ginobili is ripping the heats apart. what can i say about that guy man! i'll be off now. more reviews later. studying beckons.
Sunday
November 7 '04
did up the archives page so that they look more presentable. the archives are available through the link at the bottom. just click on - let's go back in time - and presto you're there! my years of deep dark secret, living a double life as a student/serial stalker on the loose is now available on the WWW.
why am i using the noun WWW so much? can't i just say internet like any normal human being?
on another note. jonathan leaves for thailand tmr. well he's been a bright spark during my sundays. i'll be nice and wish him all the best over there in the land of a thousand smiles. sawadee... eh no i mean practice safe sex!
on a different note. the main page is done so that only a day's worth of entry will be displayed. this is done so that my entries will be eaten fresh when they... oh i mean read on a daily basis. if you've missed out on that day's entries... well too bad! move ur eyes about 10centimetres up and you'll find ur answer.
trying to reach a higher note. actually there's nothing much left to write. i'm just trying to be lame, as usual.
question: should i leave some comment system so that ppl can respond to my lame writings? leave ur comments. oops! no comment system! hah! better luck next time!
Saturday
November 6 '04
by some unexplained happenings i'm reminded that i still have a blog lying around in the WWW. so here i am. as usual im trying to write something smart, something that will add a smile to the people who read this. it's not easy. in fact, i dont think any of my writings could be considered remotely witty or entertaining. mediocre at best.
the undoings of the education system? ambivalence towards the unchartered territories of topic sentences, counter-arguments, evaluative comments and whatnots. as i wrote my last GP essay, i seem to have realised their importance in securing that minimum grade. i pray that the effort is sufficient.
so the A's have finally begun. everyone seems to be feeling the heat. stressed out. disheartened. me? slam dunk comics seems to be more appealing than those notes on the collapse of communism.
ahhhh. and jazz. lovely. fly me to the moon frank.