Sunday
September 12 '04
im swearing off the computer screen...
Monday
September 6 '04
i wont move a single inch
i will light up your dark lonely nights
watched season 1 of gilmore girls and there was this episode when rory and dean broke up and rory wanted to throw away the dean box.
EVERYTIME i watch that show i get reminded of things.. and now i gotta pay the price for doing so...
i looked through some stuff in the C box...
i saw really nice memories of the past... it was totally different from the first time i looked at it... when i was just fresh from everything that happened.. those stuffs probably made me more upset...
this time.. i saw what went wrong.. everything that aunty yuting said.. and what this other lady said abt me overspiritualizing stuff.. it just all came back..
it's like history when u look back with a 6/6 hindsight... everything is just put into perspective...
it was clearly the timing..
but still that doesnt solve the whole problem...
the problem lies with me.. i have to do sth abt this myself... how can i face up to this reality? and how do i move on from here?
please... other relationships wont work... im not sealing up the options.. it's just that im in a state now when im still not over things and i dont want to hurt anyone else by taking substitutes...
i should be over it... why can't i?
tonight i want to do something... to really commit all this to God and ask for His guidiance... i do need some answers.. it's okay if i dont have them right away.. i'll continue praying...
it's abt time i started to get back on my feet and set myself right with God.. this facade which im seemingly done with my backsliding.. it should go...
i have problems and issue i need to resolve with God... that's sure... i will do that...
lean on His guidiance and strength.. and be obedient to His calling.. it's abt time i put my heart into doing that.. i hope this turns out positive... i want to give this a shot...
because i dont want to sit out.. i want to dance
Sunday
September 5 '04
Sitting in our dreamy days by the water's edge,
On a cool summer's night.
Fireflies and the stars in the sky,
Gentle glowing light,
From your cigarette.
The breeze blowing softly on my face,
Reminds me of something else.
Something that in my memory has been replaced,
Suddenly it all comes back.
And as I look to the stars.
I remember the time I knew a Girl From Mars,
I don't know if you knew that.
Oh we'd stay up late playing cards,
Henri Winterman Cigars.
Though she never told me her name,
I still love you, Girl From Mars.
Surging through the darkness over the moonlight strand,
Electricity in the air.
Twisting all through the night on the terrace,
Now that summer's here.
I know you are almost in love with me,
I can see it in your eyes.
Strange light shimmering over the sea tonight,
And it almost blows my mind
And as I look to the stars
I remember the time I knew a Girl From Mars,
I don't know if you knew that.
Oh we'd stay up late playing cards,
Henri Winterman Cigars.
Though she never told me her name,
I still love you, Girl From Mars.
Today I sleep in the chair by the window,
It felt as if you'd returned.
I thought that you were standing over me,
When I woke there was no-one there.
I still love you, Girl From..
Mars